It’s against the law

I wonder how many times my husband has broken the law since we moved to Iowa. According to dumblaws.com, in this state it is against the law for a man with a mustache to kiss a woman in public. I doubt we kiss in public all that often (what is the definition of “in public”?), but I’m sure we do occasionally. And he does wear a mustache for about half the year (October through March).

I suppose it’s just as well we will probably never move back to Connecticut, where I grew up. (In the more populated areas, there is too much traffic and too much noise, which neither of us want to go back to after living in the rural midwest. In the less populated areas, there is too much green growing stuff, which I would love but it would set off his allergies and trigger his asthma.) There it would be illegal for him to kiss me on Sundays (whether he had the mustache or not). 

He lived in Nebraska for a good deal of his childhood (separated into five different periods, as his father was in the Air Force). I wonder how often he risked getting his mother arrested by burping while in church. (And since they lived in or around Omaha, he might also have violated the law against sneezing in church.)

We only lived in Illinois about ten months, but I’m sure I could have been arrested for vagrancy on many occasions, for not having at least one dollar bill on my person. I never contacted the police before entering the city in an automobile. And I spoke English every single day!

The website does include a disclaimer that “many of the laws on this site have been verified, but many have been taken from sources which do not include law citations.” It points out that it is an entertainment site, not a legal resource. So maybe  it isn’t really illegal to go whale fishing in Nebraska – though I cannot imagine where one might conceivably expect to catch a whale in that landlocked state. (In Ohio, where I went to college, the law is less restrictive – whale fishing is only illegal on Sundays.)

But I still don’t think I’d want to go back to New Jersey. I don’t slurp my soup on purpose, but I wouldn’t want to risk arrest for unintentional slurping.

 

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