Darn it

When I was growing up, my mother showed me how to darn socks. She had a gourd, about the size and shape of a pear, that she put inside the sock to hold the shape while she darned. I was fascinated by the gourd, which was extremely lightweight but very durable. It must have had seeds or something inside, because it rattled lightly when I shook it.

I had no interest in the actual task of darning, however. After all, my socks didn’t get holes in them. I outgrew my socks before I could wear them out. And why would I want socks with such odd colored patches? (Since the holes were always in places covered by the shoe, my mother didn’t worry about matching thread to sock color. I remember burgundy, navy blue, and yellow thread, though I suppose she may have also used white. Her socks were always white, though, as she did not want to expose her skin to dyes.)

As an adult, I just went on wearing socks with holes until the holes got too big to deal with – or the socks got too small from going through the dryer so many times (my mother hung everything to dry and didn’t have that problem). Then I just threw them out. New socks didn’t cost that much, really, and anyway, who darns socks anymore?

With the current financial situation, however, we’re having to find new ways to save money. For instance, a couple months ago I received a batch of “friendship bread” starter, and now I bake two loaves of quick bread every Sunday. I like fruit and nut bread, but the rest of the family prefers my chocolate bread. I may start having to bake more often, as one loaf is generally gone by Wednesday.

So when my husband asked me to darn some of his socks, I decided I was finally going to have to learn how. First I had to get the right size needle and thread. I looked at the wide assortment of needles in the sewing department at Wal-Mart, but found nothing labeled “darning needles.” Finally I selected a set of “tapestry needles,” which had the largest eyes, and blunt points. Then I needed some thread – or maybe it would be called yarn?

I looked through the yarn selections and finally selected some crocheting yarn (thread?) that seemed to match my memory of what my mother used for darning. I suppose I could have asked a store associate for help, but I could only imagine her asking, “You want to do what?” I’m sure there must still be people out there who darn socks, but I’ve never met one. Or at least not one who ever mentioned it…

Tonight I picked through the clean laundry to find socks with holes – not a difficult task. Then I got an old light bulb from my craft drawer (I forget why I saved it but I remember there was a reason), put it in the sock, and set about darning. It didn’t take me long to realize that – like many things – knowing what to do is one thing, actually doing it is much harder. I can fill the hole with a decent weave, but it kind of sticks up around the edges. I’ll have to find out from my husband and son (the older one, whose feet have stopped growing long enough for him to wear holes in socks) whether the fix feels better or worse than the holes.

I also quickly realized that small holes are much easier to darn than large ones. Once I fix all the big holes, I need to keep an eye out for small holes and fix them before they get big. Maybe with enough practice, my darning will start looking more like my mother’s. Except for the color – I fix white socks with white yarn.

Hello!

Did you know that today is World Hello Day? I didn’t either, until I found the link at wikipedia. It’s a rather obscure holiday (at least I consider something obscure that has been around since I was ten years old and I never heard about it), the purpose of which is to use communication to help bring about world peace.

People around the world use the occasion of World Hello Day as an opportunity to express their concern for world peace. Beginning with a simple greeting on World Hello Day, their activities send a message to leaders, encouraging them to use communication rather than force to settle conflicts.

I think saying hello to ten people is a good thing, but as most people can easily say hello to ten people within their own community in the course of their daily routine, I have trouble seeing how it sends a message to leaders or to people elsewhere in the world who might not be at peace with us. I’m not sure how many people I said hello to today – not knowing that it was a special day for saying hello – but even if it was ten, how would that make a difference outside my community?

Let’s see, there was Jane at the Girl Scout Stocking Stuffer event (we donated toys and school supplies to be put in stockings for needy children in the community). And another Girl Scout leader whom I don’t know, but who was very friendly to us. There was Jackie at Wal-Mart, who pretended to bump her shopping cart into mine by mistake.

I would have said hello to the teenage girl who answered the door when we went to deliver popcorn (from the Cub Scout fundraiser) if she hadn’t forestalled my greeting by saying, “No thanks, we don’t want any.” (I explained that her mom had already bought it, and we were just delivering it, at which point she was much more friendly, and accepted the popcorn from us.)

And of course I said greeted the other members of my family, when we got up this morning (or this evening, in the case of my husband with his night work schedule). I think a cheerful and friendly hello is a great thing, and it’s good for both the greeter and “greetee,” and does lead to a greater sense of community and mental and emotional health. But unless we say hello to people outside our community, how does it help the cause of world peace?

Well, here on my blog I get to say hello to as many people as visit. Based on recent stats (helped greatly by my having been a finalist for the Fun with WordPress Logo contest), considerably more than ten people have been visiting here daily. I don’t know how many read my current post, as opposed to the one I did for the contest, but I’ll assume that some at least will read this.

Most will be English-speakers, since I’m writing in English. But I’ll say hello in a few other languages anyway, just in case.

Hello!

¡Hola!

Salut!

Hallo!

Aloha!

Saluton!

Alô!

And if you speak a different language, or would like to be able to say hello in another language, you can find out how to say hello in a lot of different languages here.

Cultural conundrums

Yesterday, while waiting for my computer to finish doing something or other, I was reading the October issue of the Toastmaster magazine. I didn’t actually read much of it, just skimmed through to see what might be interesting or helpful. When I came to the article “Know Thy Culture,” however, I slowed down and read every word.

I don’t remember just how much interest I took in understanding culture before I studied Spanish, though certainly I had at least some idea of the challenges involved in cross-cultural ministry from the books I had read about missions. The more I studied Spanish, however, the more interested I became in the subject. When I decided to participate in a summer abroad study program, the matter became very practical rather than just theoretical.

I’m not sure just how much I learned to recognize cultural differences during the time I spent abroad - not only that summer (which I extended to six months when I stayed on for the fall semester) but also, two years later, another nine months that I spent in Madrid as a graduate student. The most obvious differences are probably the least important. The foods are different, the daily schedule is different, and the holidays are different, but one can become accustomed to all those and still know very little of the real cultural differences.

I commented on one occasion to a Spanish acquaintance about having had to live on a stipend of only $3000 the previous year (1983). He pointed out that a Spanish man might support his whole family on that income, so he could hardly see why a single woman should think she needed more. I knew that I could buy more food in Spain with the Spanish equivalent of one U.S. dollar than that same dollar would get me in the U.S., and that housing also cost less. But I wasn’t sure how other expenses compared, and how much of the difference was being accustomed to a different standard of living (even though I had always lived frugally by American standards).

From books and classes I knew that there were also differences in family relationships, attitudes towards time, personal space (how far apart people position themselves to feel comfortable), and many other aspects of daily life. I could recognize such differences, knowing they existed, but I don’t know how much I would have picked up on, on my own, during the limited time I lived there – especially as I spent more time interacting with other American students both in and out of class than I did developing close relationships with Spaniards.

The article in the Toastmaster magazine makes it clear that some of the most important aspects of culture to understand are those that are hardest to see. There are assumptions about behavior that are so ingrained that it doesn’t occur to us that they are culturally based. Even when we come into contact with people of another culture, who behave in ways that offend us, we may easily blame it on poor character rather than a different set of values.

What do you know about Puerto Rico?

I knew before today that Sonia Sotomayor was Hispanic (it would be hard not to, with all that I’ve read or heard about her “wise Latina” comment), but I’m not sure if I knew she was Puerto Rican. I certainly didn’t know that her parents were recent immigrants, or that she regularly visited Puerto Rico during summers.

It occurred to me that I know relatively little of Puerto Rico, considering that is both a part of our country, and a land with a rich Hispanic heritage (and me being a Spanish major). When I lived in Spain I studied the history and literature of Spain and Latin America, but – at least in terms of history – that never included Puerto Rico. I took a course in Chicano literature in college, and we talked about what it meant to be Mexican-American – but if there was any discussion of Puerto Rican identity in my classes I don’t remember it.

I decided to look for web quizzes on Puerto Rico. I have a pretty good head for trivia of all sorts; I thought I’d do alright, if not very well, on such quizzes. First I was surprised simply how few quizzes I found that were intended for the general public – the sort of quizzes I’ve taken at infoplease.com, for instance, where one doesn’t need an especially good background in the subject to get a decent score.

The first one I found was at the bilingual website AARPSegundaJuventud. Admittedly, visitors to the site were more likely than I to be familiar with the island, but I was amazed that I scored absolutely zero. On a multiple choice quiz! Just by sheer chance I should have gotten a couple of them right.

A true story, a true hero

Considering my post yesterday with reference to Medal of Honor recipients, it seemed very timely today when a friend (who, as far as I know, doesn’t read my blog) sent me an email about the death of Ed Freeman. You may have received it – it’s apparently spreading all over cyberspace. It starts with these lines:

Michael Jackson dies and it’s 24/7 news coverage. A real American hero dies and not a mention of it in the news. The media has no honor and God is watching.

It goes on to tell about Ed Freeman’s heroism in saving about thirty wounded men, in spite of machine gunfire so intense that the Medi-Vac helicopters had been ordered not to attempt the rescue. He wasn’t disobeying that order; he wasn’t Medi-Vac, he just chose to get a Huey helicopter and go in there anyway – some fourteen times as he could only take two or three men out at a time.

Because of yesterday’s post, I decided to learn more about Ed Freeman. The first hit I got was from snopes.com. Oh no, does that mean the story is just an urban legend? (I get a lot of those emailed from well-meaning friends, and I have learned to check them out, usually at snopes.com.) This one, it turns out, is a mixture of truth and falsehood. Mostly the story is Ed Freeman’s heroism is true. The false part is that the email changes the date of Ed Freeman’s death to the date Michael Jackson died.

Ed Freeman died August 20, 2008. In March 2009, a post office facility in his hometown was named for him. Soon an email began circulating, similar to the one I received today, but instead of a reference to Michael Jackson, it compared the lack of news coverage for Ed Freeman with some other celebrity-of-the-day who was getting all the attention. After Michael Jackson’s death, the email was modified to its current form.

On the one hand, I understand the desire to tell more people about Ed Freeman, and the concern that Michael Jackson’s death should get as much attention as it did. But changing the facts to try to make a point is never the way to get the truth out. The truth is a good enough story – there’s no need to try to improve on it.

Chocolate war in Europe

It’s serious business to the parties involved, but I got a smile out of reading in today’s Wall Street Journal about the chocolate bunnies being considered by the European Court of Justice in Luxembourg today. From a legal standpoint it’s more about trademarks than about bunnies, but the visible symbol of the dispute is the foil-wrapped bunny marketed by Franz Hauswirth – and the Lindt bunny on whose trademark Hauswirth infringes, according to Lindt.

I know just a little about laws regarding trademarks from my business classes – enough to understand why some companies make a big deal out of people using a brand name as a common noun. If people say kleenex when they mean facial tissue and xerox when they mean photocopy (both of which are very common usages in my experience), eventually the words will be so widely associated with a generic product that the companies will lose their trademark rights.

In order to prevent that, companies have to be able to show that they have made a strong effort to prevent the “genericization” of their brand names, even if they are not successful in preventing a lot of people from using them that way anyway. Some ocmmon trade names that have become generic words include aspirin, thermos, linoleum, kerosene, raisin bran, trampoline, and zipper.

Of course, it’s a lot easier to identify (though perhaps not to stop) misuse of a trademark in the case of a word than a shape. I find it interesting, when shopping, to notice the variety of shapes and color schemes in the packaging of the store brand of a product. They may sell a dozen or more different varieties of shampoo, but each one will be similar, not to the others with the same store-brand name, but to the competing name brand which it is designed to imitate. Law requires that they be different enough that a consumer can pick out which is which, but the similarity is enough that the store is clearly hoping people will make purchases based on that more-or-less distinctive image.

I assume that is what is meant in this WSJ article by references to three-dimensional trademarks. Lindt claims that the overall shape of its chocolate bunny, the gold foil, and the bow tied around its neck constitute a trademark deserving legal protection. Perhaps if they had registered the trademark several decades ago they would have a stronger case. But the European trademark dates only to 2001, and competitor Hauswirth has been selling their bunny for forty years. Their countersuit claims that Lindt acted in bad faith in trying to register a trademark to begin with, on a shape/look already in use by other companies.

Due to time zone differences, I can already read an article in tomorrow’s Wall Street Journal reporting the court’s decision. The case has been sent back to Austria’s Supreme Court, with a test for “bad faith” in a trademark claim:

whether a trademark applicant “knows or must know” that someone else is using the mark, whether filing was made to block that party from using it, and whether the products have other legal protections

Hauswirth sees this as a victory for his firm, and I’m inclined to agree. Personally I think the four bunnies shown (see slideshow) look different enough that I can easily distinguish them, but not so different that a well-define trademark could be assigned. And I also agree with Hauswirth that his bunny is better looking than Lindt’s – though if I were going to buy one I’d be more interested in knowing which one tastes better.

If you can’t say something…

I don’t remember seeing the movie Bambi as a child (which doesn’t mean I didn’t see it – I am told I saw Snow White but I don’t remember that either), but I certainly knew Thumper’s famous line (quoting his father): “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.” I don’t remember whether I actually tried saying something not nice and was reproved by my mother, or if I heard her quote that in regards to things other people said.

I always found it very easy to say nothing at all. I didn’t have to restrain myself from saying mean things – whether by temperament or my mother’s admonitions, I found I could barely imagine saying such things, let alone actually open my mouth and say them. But I also found it difficult to say nice things. I set high standards for myself, and only expected praise if I really did well. I couldn’t see complimenting someone else unless there was something that really merited it.

As a teenager and a young Christian, I was taught that I needed to be saying things to build up other people. When I worked at a summer camp, a counselor challenged me to say three compliments each day. I felt so terribly awkward about it, that if I managed one a day it seemed like quite an accomplishment. The easiest was to mention a nice item of clothing, though it me even that seemed silly – I really didn’t care what kind of clothes anyone wore, so why should I act as though I did?

As with many things, it was having kids that made it easier. I had always felt awkward with anyone else’s kids, but with my own there was none of that. They weren’t thinking about how silly I looked or acted or sounded. They weren’t – at least when they were little – comparing me with anyone else’s mom. And of course I wanted to encourage them, and help them grow up being used to giving and receiving compliments so it wouldn’t be as hard for them as it had for me.

Thoughts on Memorial Day

As far as I know, I’ve never known anyone who died in combat, though I know combat veterans, and at least one relative who died while serving in the armed forces, though not in combat. So on Memorial Day I think of those who died for our country and for freedom, but it is an abstraction as I don’t know any of them or their individual stories.

I have always been moved by such stories, though, when I have read books or articles about them. I’ve probably read more fictional stories of war than non-fiction, but I imagine the fictional stories are generally true-to-life in their depiction of soldiers’ loyalty to their unit and their country, and their heroism as they fight and live or die.

One story that I have always found particularly moving is “The Ballad of Rodger Young.” We learned this song in 7th grade music class, and I usually had a lump in my throat by the time I reached the final verse. I have no idea whether it is based on the actual experience of some young infantryman, but I’m sure there are many who gave up their lives in similar circumstances.

My thanks to those who have fought for this country, whether they have died for it or not.

About me

I borrowed this meme from Renaissance Guy at Significant Pursuit. I’ve modified it some, mostly by shortening it from 40 entries down to 23.

Strange Things About Me

1. My uncle grandfather once … left me behind at the gas station. As I remember, I wasn’t scared. I knew after a while he would notice I was missing and come back for me.

2. Never in my life … have I seen The Godfather.

3. When I was five … I hated “playing house,” because I thought it was dumb and the boys’ toys and games were a lot more fun.

4. High School was … when I started thinking a lot about God and faith.

5. I will never forget … how to spell reservoir. I missed winning a spelling bee in seventh grade because I left out the middle r. I had to look it up in the dictionary to be convinced it really had one there.

6. I once met … a man with no legs, who got around amazingly well on a small wheeled platform rather like a skateboard.

7. Once, at a bar … in Spain, I ordered “cider” (sidra in Spanish), forgetting that outside the U.S. cider is usually hard, i.e. alcoholic.

8. By noon, I’m usually … done drinking coffee (mixed with hot chocolate and milk) and ready for cold beverages, such as diet cola.

9. If only I had … not mislaid both the paper and electronic copies of a bunch of stories and poems I wrote

10. Next time I go to church … both my sons will be in the youth song/dance teams leading worship for Mother’s Day.

11. When I turn my head left, I see … a photo of my husband holding our puppy (back when she was small enough to hold on one arm. [Note: I wrote this part while at work, although I'm posting it now from home.]

12. When I turn my head right, I see … a large plastic bowl holding a couple of kitchen utensils, the beginning of the “fun basket” my workgroup is assembling for a silent auction next week to benefit the American Cancer Society. [Note: I wrote this part while at work, although I'm posting it now from home.]

13. By this time next year … my older son will be legally an adult.

14. I have a hard time understanding … when people are joking, because I tend to take things seriously and literally.

15. If I ever go back to school, I’ll … do it without taking out student loans.

16. Take my advice, never … try to get practice driving a stick shift (when you still have trouble getting the car moving again after stopping) in Philadelphia traffic (probably applies to most large cities)

17. My ideal breakfast is … orange juice, a cheese omelet, buckwheat pancakes with molasses, and a cup of mocha.

18. Tulips, character flaws, microchips, & track stars … often go unnoticed (tulips are dormant most of the year, microchips are everywhere but who knows exactly where, track stars don’t get the publicity typical in some other sports, and we all know some character flaws can be hidden except from the people who know you best).

19. If you spend the night at my house … you will be greeted in the morning by a very energetic black lab looking for a playmate.

20. The world could do without … beauty pageants, casinos, cigarettes, and infomercials (I’m not suggested banning any of them – just saying we could do just fine without them)

21. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than … eat it.

22. If I do anything well, it’s … catching people’s mistakes. This is an essential element of my job (checking documentation for compliance with Sarbanes-Oxley), but a tendency I have to make an effort to curb in other situations where it is neither necessary nor welcome.

23. And by the way … I’m sure there are some strange things about me, but I don’t think any of the above is much indication of it. (Nor are the ones I chose to leave out from the original meme – those were ones I couldn’t think of anything interesting to write about.)

The beauty of the Earth

I know some people don’t like the Earth Day celebrations, because they seem designed to make people feel guilty for not being environmentally sensitive enough, they play on fears of possible ecological catastrophe, and – at least according to some conservative Christians – they amount to worshipping the creation rather than the Creator. I’ve never gotten involved in any Earth Day celebrations myself, as best as I can remember. (Though there was that time our Brownie troop helped clean up a local park – for all I know that was Earth Day-related.)

But I do love the beauty of nature, and today seems a great day for celebrating it. From watching birds in my yard (one pair of small birds has assembled a rather messy nest on top of the light outside the back door, which may or may not be connected to the fact the light is not currently working) to admiring the vastness of the sky (equally impressive by day or by night), I enjoy seeing nature on a daily basis.

I try to take pictures of the stunning beauty I see, but they never do it justice. The splendor of the ice-sheathed trees after an ice storm, the late afternoon sun giving that warm reddish light to the tips of trees, the vivid colors of butterflies and dragonflies – I can see them in a photograph but only as a muted echo of what I remember seeing. Still, those pictures remind me of what I did see, including in some far away places.

I watch the sun set off the western coast of Spain, and watched it rise while sitting on a beach in the Bahamas. (I also watched the moon rise over the Mediterranean, and wished I had my camera with me.) I not only saw but heard and smelled and felt the waves crashing on rocks somewhere on the coast of Portugal (I didn’t get soaked, but you couldn’t stand near the rocks and stay dry). I hiked with my father to the peak of Mt. Katahdin, at the northern end of the Appalachian Trail, and looked out over the vast expanse of Acadia National Park.  

Some places I have “visited” only through the marvel of IMAX movies. Coral reefs, rain forests, even the stark barrenness of the moon (OK, that’s not on Earth, but we don’t celebrate a Moon Day). Someday I would like to see Yosemite National Park, and the redwood forests in California. I doubt I’ll ever travel to Africa or India, but I would love to see Victoria Falls (in Zambia) or the Valley of Flowers in India, among other places suggested as the most beautiful places on Earth.

What places of greatest natural beauty have you visited? What others would you like to visit?